Co-sleeping

I realised last night how attached I am to my son. We co-sleep, because initially he slept better that way. I kind of stumbled into it while in the hospital; which was simply that in my arms he slept, and in his bed he fussed. The nurses in the clinic had no problem with this, all they said was to move over as far as possible from the edge so he doesn't fall out. Co-sleeping in Japan is very accepted, and not unheard of to sleep with the kids until they are teenagers. Japanese parents sometimes refer to this as the river- the child is the river in the middle, and the parents are the left bank and right bank. Kind of sweet.

Needless to say I needed all of the sleep that I possibly could get and so more often than not if he wouldn't sleep in his bed, I would keep him as safe as possible in my arms (we don't do the 'river' arrangement though). I was very nervous to co-sleep. I always wanted him next to me and had purchased a nice crib that can be attached to the bed:
this is our crib- we have removed the sliding gate.

 and attached it using this cable (both bought off amazon)


But even though he was RIGHT next to me, it still wasn't the same as in my arms. Still wanting to be as safe as possible, we then purchased this "bed in bed" thing:

I have to put him in it when he is super sleepy in order for him to not cause a fuss, and still wrap my arms around his body (his head and shoulders sleep between the hard foam). But, about half of the time he still wants to be tucked into my arms and so usually from about 3am onwards, that's where he sleeps. I try to keep all blankets and pillows away from his head, and keep him on the side between me and the crib, instead of my husband.

I have learned just the other day that in Australia they have changed their views on co-sleeping a little. Before, it was always a firm NO. Now, they are apparently not saying to not co-sleep (so, they are not endorsing it, but not advising against- only advising to be safe about it). Mind you, these days I think I am almost as attached to having Pi in my arms, as Pi is to being in my arms. I tried to move him into his crib last night (I was hoping it might improve both our sleep as he has been fidgety lately). However after having him for 5 minutes, and him crying while I was cuddling him, I took him out and put him back in my arms. What can I say, when it comes to him I am a softie and very attached to my little man. I will try again tonight, and if it doesn't go well, I will wait for those few extra weeks (to 12 weeks) to see if the extra time makes a difference. He still wakes up every two hours, and I think a part of that is that he can smell the milk and knows his snack is right next to him. I mean, who wouldn't want the comfort of a boob whenever they want. I am just hoping that it might help get him into good habits earlier, but if I can't there is always time. Until then, I am going to enjoy my baby snuggles.

 Pi at 3 weeks in his little bed

 Pi at 3 weeks snuggling in my arms.

Child payment form

By the end of June, I had to go to my city hall to submit the Jidouteate- or child allowance form. The city sent me a letter with information, and the sample of what needs to be filled out (the rest was pre-filled). I then had to go to city office to submit it, along with a copy of Pi's hokenshou (Insurance card). I couldn't read enough of the Kanji, but went anyway as they are very friendly up there and were more than happy to help me :)

Here is what it all means for anyone else in the same situation:

1. Hanko (inkan)- the personal stamp that is used instead of a signature. The form is under my husbands name, so it was stamped with my husbands stamp, not mine.

 2. Income from transfer (of property, etc.) (Yes/No)

3. Number of dependent relatives and children 

(number of those eligible for elderly spouse deduction or dependent elderly relatives) In our case my 

husband has 2 dependents (My son and I)


4. Current income (income for year 20XX)- city hall told me this information.

5. Date submitted


And done! It was really quite simple, which was lucky as Pi was screaming most of the time...

8 weeks

It has been a long wait, but finally we have gotten to the aim of 8 weeks. Why 8 weeks? Because countless blogs and articles say the 8 weeks is where it all changes.


Let me tell you, it does. Our boy has gone from a squishy blob, into a functioning little baby. He smiles now, at least a few times a day (The first one showed up about 5 weeks, but was at the curtain), coos, and above all, at 8 weeks he has just started be intrigued by the world around him. It is fascinating to watch him as he stares at objects, working out how to bat them with his chubby little fists. He also sleeps better, and has a long stretch of about 5 hours from 8pm-1am if I am really lucky (but then is still up after 2 or 3 hours from then on). But still, it is an improvement.
The biggest change has been his curiosity. Now, he is happy to be staring at his toys and figuring things out, and then he loves a cuddle afterwards.
His gas is slowly getting better too. Now it mainly effects him at night. Whether it is the probiotics, or time, I can't say- but either way it's improving.

Yay for 8 weeks. The next countdown is to 12 :)

Home Nurse visit

Today, a nurse came to my house to give little Pi a check up. This visit is provided for free by the town. The called a few days after I registered Pi to set up the appointment. No vouchers or anything needed, just to have the boshi-techo (mother and child handbook).
The nurse called before hand to confirm, and came promptly at 1:30, along with another lady in the neighbourhood who I think was a bit of a community helper. The helper introduced herself, and left her card. From what I understand, if I need help or am feeling overwhelmed, I can give her a call.
The nurse (Take-san) was really lovely. Unfortunately, as I had woken Pi up for the visit and didn't feed him he was pretty hungry and in a bad mood, so cried during his weight check and everything.
Luckily, that was over quickly and fed him while she gave me lots of papers. Information on immunisations, on health checks, on mothers groups, on a bit of an emergency day care (though, until Pi reaches 6 months I need to use the one in the next town over. But as the cost is averaging 300/400yen per hour, it's a fantastic deal and good to know if I have appointments, or desperately need a break. There was also a don't shake the baby pamphlet.

It was really good to have her here, and ask questions, and always nice to have someone coo over Pi. He has really grown:

From:
3366gms, 53cms long, head 34.5, chest 31.5cms

To:
 4970gm, 57.1cm long, head 39.4cm, chest 38.2cm

It's the only home nurse visit, which is a shame. The next 3-4 month check up will be at the hall, but at least it will get me out of the house.

Naps

I am still researching all about the holy grail of napping, and the other day, came across this site:

http://www.troublesometots.com/are-you-keeping-baby-awake-too-long/

It is a fantastic site, all about naps and found the most golden piece of information yet-

Put baby down for a nap before he gets fussy. If he is crying, you have left it too long.  It makes sense really, as one gives them food before they start crying (looking for signs of hunger instead), so why wouldn't one get them to sleep before they start crying about it too.

This article was all about keeping baby awake for too long. Which I was guilty of- as I always thought that he would let me know when he was tired. Most of the time, it was about 1 1/2- 2hrs when he would get fussy, and by the time he would go down there would be some tears involved. It would usually take a lot of effort too- walking round and round in the park (though, that did help me lose my baby weight). Though now it is officially summer- the ergo with the infant insert is wayyy to hot (even with the special cooling pack I bought from Babies R Us- see picture below)



So, after reading this article, I kept a watchful eye on him (not the clock) and as soon as he would start to go quiet (into that staring phase they get into, after the looking around and moving limbs phase) I would swaddle him and put him straight into his bouncer. After a little while of bouncing and sometimes sucking on my thumb, or using white noise- he would be off in dreamland. No tears involved (or rarely). The site said that if you get them to sleep before they get overtired- then they fall asleep faster, and sleep longer! Fan-freakin-tastic!

 (not him, by the way)

Now, I think he is getting used to falling asleep there, and it is taking a little less effort everyday. The good news is, I can also put on TV while I am bouncing, and when it gets really hot, I can also put on the air-conditioning.

Here is a rough guideline of naps:

Baby Age	Time between Naps	Nap Duration	Number of Naps per Day
Birth – 6 weeks	45 min – 1 hour	15 minutes – 4 hours	4-8
6 Weeks – 3 Months	1 hour – 1 hour 45 minutes	30 minutes – 2 hours	3-5
3 Months – 6 Months	~2 Hours	30 minutes – 2 hours	3-4
6 Months – 9 Months	2-3 hours	1-3 hours	3
9 Months – 12 Months	~3 hours	1-2 hours	2

Nappy (diaper) reviews- Pampers vs Moony

I never really realised how important the difference between nappies are, until recently. I have been buying Pi pampers since his birth, mainly because I have heard of the brand before. Japanese brands with their funny names: Moony, Goo.N, Mamy Poko, Merries; are so foreign. Babies R Us in Japan also sells big boxes of pampers cheaply, and I never really thought too much.

Because I have been buying giant boxes, Pi has grown WAY quicker than expected, and we were left with 176 pampers newborn nappies that were too small (It took Pi 6 weeks to grow out of the Pampers newborn size). Luckily, my Japanese friends had given me a packet of Moony, which I was saving as they run bigger in size than the Pampers. The last few days I have been using a different wipe (which I much prefer) and the Moony nappies, and Pi's bottom has never looked better. He has been having very mild nappy rash off and on for weeks now, but in the last day or so it has disappeared. The Moony are also much softer and just seem better quality.

Here is a bit of a review between the two of them:

Pampers
Cost: about 14yen/nappy
Softness: 3/5
Rash: Slight rash
Fit: a bit small around the legs once he got chubby. Fit runs small generall
Absorbency: 4/5
Poo leaks: 4/5 (three in 6 weeks of use)
Wetness Indicator: Yes
Notes: If you have a small baby, the Pampers newborn might be the best way. Pampers has sticky tape on their fasteners, which gets really annoying when it sticks to the babies skin (Moony doesn't)


Moony
Cost: about 15yen/nappy
Softness: 4/5
Rash: none
Fit: bigger around the waist
Absorbency: 4/5
Poo leaks:- Too early to say.
Wetness Indicator: Yes
Notes: Moony have a little cresent shape taken out near the belly button, for the umbilical stump. Also, they have a wetness line at the back too, so newborn poo will change the colour.

The Moony have my vote so far, as they are soft and I think worth the slight extra cost, especially as he is not going through so many these days.

I will also buy the other brands over the next few months and update this.

Sleep

Like all new mums, I have been obsessing over that hold grail that is sleep. Constantly trawling websites, looking for the magic formula that will tell me how to get our baby to sleep for more than 2 hours at night. Much like the answer to the gas problem, the answer is 'time'.

Boo!

But now, as we approach week 7, I have been hit with a whole new problem- my baby won't nap well during the day. I used to be able to get a solid hour out of him a few times a day; and after a magic day of him napping on Monday (he actually went to sleep in his bouncer several times), the last two days have been quite hellish. Maybe because I keep trying to get him to sleep in his bouncer (apparently, it was a fluke), but even when strapped to me, he wakes up after 10mins.

According to the internet (there is a troubled statement), infants should take naps 2-4 times a day, for 30mins to 2hrs at a time. I am worried that Pi hasn't been napping for very long (15mins or so), and I can see the dark little lines develop under his eyes. Lines that match my own, really. And him not sleeping is incredibly stressful to me, as I spend ALL DAY trying to put him to sleep, only to stop the crying for 10mins or so. Still, I am hoping that it is a phase, otherwise I will just have to adjust. I keep picturing his happy, smiling face and it makes it much better.

We have just started a bedtime routine, as of last night. I read that it can be started at 6-8weeks, and helps for the future. It is almost impossible to keep, as the time that Husband comes homes varies, and his naps are all over the shop. Basically, at 6:30 it is a quick bath, a song and a cuddle, boobies and then bed. It only worked for a short time last night, and I even put him in his own bed after struggling to get him to sleep (first in the bouncer, then in the high-low chair). We turned the baby monitor on, and after about 15mins, he woke up screaming, and quite inconsolable for a few hours. We will have to see what time he wakes up from his nap today to see if 6:30 is feasible, but hopefully it will start to set the ground work.

The spit up begins

Back when I was pregnant and speaking with my brother and sister in law about things that I needed to buy, they very quickly piped up with "burp cloths!!!". Taking their advice into consideration, I went out and bought about 10 of really soft, fluffy microfiber hand towels from the dollar store (I was really happy that they remained soft and fluffy after washing- people are always commenting on how nice they are).
Though, weeks after Pi was born went by and nothing- not a spit up, not even a little. Mind you, our baby hasn't been burping either.
Over the last week and a bit, he has been gradually spitting up more and more (and I think his gas is getting better too). Though, last night and today, the spit up has been so crazy that I had to look up the difference between that and vomiting. I seriously smell like someone who has left the milk out too long (yes, I REALLY should change my shirt). He is also burping like a champ finally. I am quite pleased with his progress right now and am taking it to mean that his tummy is starting to function a bit better.

If only the gas would stop waking him up so he would sleep for more than two hours at night, then I would be one happy, rested (albeit spit up covered) mama.

What you need to do after giving birth

I found this site SUPER helpful in terms of things that need to be done after you give birth (http://www.ifrec.osaka-u.ac.jp/en/liaison/procedures/childbirth.html). Here's some info is below:

 Procedures after giving birth in Japan

◆Overall steps◆

1. 【Within 14 days after birth】
   Residential registration of baby at local city hall
2. 【Within 15 days after birth】
   Application for child allowance at local city hall
3. Application for health insurance card- this depends on where your insurance is from. I am under my husbands insurance, so his company did this.
4. 【Within 30 days after birth】
   Application for dependent family visa (to live in Japan over 60 days) at regional immigration office
5. 【After receiving health insurance card】
   Application for infant and child medical card at local city hall- (I got this before I received his health insurance card though)

◆ Detailed steps ◆

【1. At the hospital】

Receive birth certificate at the hospital that your baby was born.
Here, “birth certificate” means a document called “shussei shoumei sho 出生証明書” in Japanese. In this format, right half part is used as “birth certificate” and left half is used as “notification of birth (shussei todoke 出生届)”.

【2. At the city hall】

2-1: Visit the citizen’s affairs division (shimin-ka 市民課) within 14 days after birth
i)Fill in “notification of birth” form and submit together with “birth certificate” form.
ii)Obtain two copies of “certificate of acceptance of birth notification (shussei todoke jyuri syoumei sho 出生届受理証明書）”
iii)Obtain two copies of “residence certificate (jyu-min hyou no utsushi 住民票の写し)”
. There are two types in this certificate, one is for individual and the other is for all family members.
Be sure to make a request for the issue of the latter in order to prove relationships among you, your spouse and your baby.
*Certificates above are necessary for visa, passport and health insurance applications.
*Each certificate costs 200-300yen per one unit.

2-2: Child care division(kodomo-ka 子ども課)
Make application for child allowance(jidou teate 児童手当) within 15 days after birth. Parent is able to receive benefit to grow children.
*Bring your bank account information and registered personal seal/signature to apply for the allowance.

2-3: Tax division(Zeimu-ka 税務課)
Obtain “certificate of tax payment(kazei (shotoku) shoumei sho 課税（所得）証明書) ”
*This is necessary as a proof of your tax amount/annual income which is required for your baby’s visa application.
*If your stay in Japan is less than one year, it may not be issued. Please consult with the General Affairs Section.
*Each copy of certificate costs 200-300 yen.

【3．At regional immigration office】

Make application for dependent family visa at Immigration Office within 30days after birth.

Please refer to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs' website:
Application for permission to acquire status of residence »»

Requirements:

• Application form 
  * Photo is not required for a child under 16yrs old.
• A copy of birth notification (shussei todoke jyuri syoumei sho 出生届受理証明書）
• Passports and Resident cards/Alien registration cards of you and your wife
• Resident certificate of your family members (jyu-min hyou no utsushi 住民票の写し)
• (for employees) Certificate of employment 
  * Make a request at IFReC office

【4. At the embassy/consulate of your country in Japan】

4-1: Making notification of birth
4-2: Application for passport
*Bring Certificate of acceptance of birth notification (shussei todoke jyuri syoumei sho 出生届受理証明書）and other requirements. For details, please confirm webpage of your country’s embassy.

-Depending on your nationality, you may be required to submittranslation of certificates (from Japanese to your mother language)made by certified translators or “Apostille” to prove official documents.
Please refer to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs' website »»
-For details, please contact embassy of your country.

【5. For Employees: at IFReC Office, 
     For Research fellows/Students: at City Hall】

5-1: Register your baby as your dependent family under MEXT mutual association or other social insurance systems
* Application form
* Attach resident certificate (jyu-min hyou no utsushi 住民票の写し)
After submission, health insurance card (=MEXT membership card) will be issued in a week.
5-2: Submit “Declaration of Tax Exemption for Dependents for Salaried Employee (fuyou koujyo shinkoku syo扶養控除申告書) “ in order to include your baby as your dependent family to get tax exemption.

【6. At local city, child care support division】

Make application for medical treatment subsidy for children. After health insurance card (MEXT membership card) has been issued, please bring it to city hall and apply for infant and child medical card(nyu youji iryou shou 乳幼児医療証).

By presenting this card at hospitals, medical treatment costs for mainly 0-6yrs old children will be maximum 1,000yen (500yen/day x twice) per month. In case treatment fee for a child exceeded over the amount in a month, local authority will cover the amount.
*Please note that ages of children and the amount covered will depend on the local government where you live.
*Bring application form, your ID, personal seal and health insurance card of yours and baby
*It can be sent by post to city hall.

◆ Lump-sum allowance for child birth ◆

As a member of MEXT mutual association or other social insurance schemes, the following will be paid for parents as subsidy for child delivery. It is paid from organizations to hospital directly unless you request for indirect payment.

◇Lump-sum allowance for child birth
(shussan ikuji ichiji kin 出産育児一時金)◇

• At a hospital registered as members of obstetric insurance: 420,000yen
• At a hospital other than above: 390,000yen

【After child delivery】

• If total cost necessary for the delivery was over the subsidized amount:
  You need to pay exceeded amount from your own pocket.
• If delivery cost was less than the subsidized amount:
  You will be able to claim refund of the balance between lump sum birth allowance and actual delivery expense through office below:

Cheap hospital and child allowance

There are many things to register when having a baby. When you give birth, you are given a birth certificate, but it needs to be taken to city hall to be registered. From there you get a Shussei Todoke 出生届 (notification of birth), and can get a certificate of acceptance of birth notification (shussei todokejyuri syoumei sho 出生届受理証明書. While I was there, I also got a special card (Nyuyoji-to Iryo-hi, 乳幼児等医療費) that gave a HUGE discount off of his hospital bill. It was originally 35000ish yen, and then with the 30% discount with his health insurance, and this card and the total bill came to about 2100. Sooo much better, and makes me feel better about taking him to the hospital in the future if there is an emergency.

While I was at city hall, I also registered for Kodomo Teate (child care allowance). We are eligible for 15000yen/month, which is a great help. Especially because I am breastfeeding.

Gas pains- it takes time.

Little Pi's gas pains certainly haven't gone away, but they are getting better. Slowly. It is often two steps forward, one step back. We have good days and bad days. Out of everything I have tried, I think the probiotics are making the biggest difference. I have ordered some new ones off of I-herb, which should arrive in a few days. Hopefully they will work a bit better. Unfortunately, I think the best help is just time. To relieve his pain, I will give him infants friend, gripe water and fennel tea, which does help push everything through.  I try my best to soothe him and comfort him through it, but apart from that I can't do much more. It is still heartbreaking though.

Babies R Us return policy

We have been doing a lot of shopping at Babies R us lately. Our bouncer has been a godsend, and after watching "the happiest baby on the block" (SO WORTH the watch), we decided that we would get a swing too, especially as we have noticed that they have a 90 day return policy.
The swing ended up being a bust. We tried it many times over a few days, but Pi just didn't like it. It was a shame really, as we were hoping he would nap in it, as the only way he currently naps is when I take him for a walk in the ergo carrier (and it is getting HOT in summer).
Anyhoo, we took the swing back and I was expecting a bit of trouble because:
a) I didn't even know the word for return (an item)
and
b) it was a store model that we received so we didn't even get a box.

However, it was all too easy. I just went in and pointed to the sign and told them that I had just purchased it on Thursday and that was all. I had to fill out my name, address and phone number, but otherwise no questions were asked. It was a really good experience and great to know for the future.