The end of attachment... Part 1

I have been putting off and putting off weaning Pi. There was always an excuse to delay weaning- wait until he finishes teething, wait until the end of next month, wait until he gets used to ichijihoiku (the three ours he goes to daycare on Wednesday mornings) wait until he turns two, wait until his cold is finished. In my heart I really didn't want to stop feeding him. The only real drivers to do it, were that he is getting older, and I want to get back on antibiotics (that I can't take when breastfeeding).

Lately, has has been refusing to let go of the boob at night. For a long time he always wanted a little bit longer, and then a bit longer again, but this last week it has been ridiculous. He would stay there all night if it were up to him. It figured it was due to one of two options, he either wanted lots of milk but there just wasn't very much left in the boobies, or he just liked it so much. After a particularly long session the other night when he refused to let go, I decided that it was probably a good time to try weaning him.

I intended to do it the next night, but I wanted our last nursing session to be something special and not him getting angry at me because I was trying to unlatch him. So I took a long time nursing him on Friday night, and then come Saturday I started. I really wanted to get him a 'weaning book' to get him used to the idea of no more milk, but as he was only on one feed a day I didn't want to make a big deal of it and make him realise what he is missing.

For the last few weeks we had been introducing a new part of the bedtime routine. After bath, but before Mummy's Milk, Daddy has been reading him a few books. It has been nice for his dad to spend a bit more time with him. Come Saturday night, I told Pichan that he would get special "moo moo juice" tonight, as Mummy didn't have enough milk (which is actually completely true- it has been just a few mouthfuls for weeks now) and that Mummy would still give him lots of nice cuddles while he drank. To my surprise, he was more than happy to have his Moo Moo juice. Not a word of protest, and after he finished he asked for more (I didn't give it to him though as I don't want him wetting through his nappy).

I was really surprised that he took it so well. I, on the other hand was an emotional mess. For me, feeding Pi has been such a beautiful thing. As the mother of a squirmy octopus the night time feeds have been a nice way to hold him and have lots of cuddles (mind you with those cuddles comes pulling, grabbing, pinching and slapping).

I will really miss it. Probably more than him. It was the last thing that I could do for him, that only I could do. However, the fact that he has taken it so well makes it that much easier.

It is early days yet, and he may suddenly remember about Mummy's milk and have a meltdown. However, I am hoping that the cuddles and the moo moo juice will be an equally good substitute.